It’s interesting how we find it so easy to share memes or other content with most of our friends on a daily basis and feel satisfied that we are doing a good job of being friends but what we don’t realise is, we often neglect actually asking them if they’re doing okay…!

I personally used to have a tough time trying to check up on my friends. I would always assume that if they’re going through a tough time, they would surely try to reach out to me. However, since the pandemic and all the chaos it brought with itself, I decided to actively check up on my close friends and family members every once in a while. I’m not saying that you always have to be the first one to reach out, but if you’re doing well mentally and think that you do have space for hearing someone else out, then you definitely shouldn’t hesitate taking the first step!

So I realised something! People who often ask me how I am doing, often sound like they’re trying to do their job of being there, but they’re not actually checking up on me. I’m sure that isn’t the case all the time but mostly Yes. I saw this because I’ve done that too! (Oops, definitely guilty!) and hence I always reply saying “I’m doing okay/fine” and the conversation usually dies out there.

But deep down, I would really appreciate it if someone goes a step further and asks me questions that are more than just “How are you?” Because honestly not only does this show the other person’s interest in your mental well-being but it also shows their care and concern and the fact that they’re going to be there for you, irrespective of you feeling okay or not. 

So here are some more specific ways of checking up on someone, rather than asking “How are you?” 

• Hey, I saw something on my way and it reminded me of you! How have you been? 
• Hello! I was passing by your house, would you like to go for a walk? 
• I saw your post on social media and I just wanted to make sure if you’re holding up fine? 
• Just wanted to let you know that I’ve been missing you! How’s it going on your end?
• It’s been a while we haven’t spoken! Are you available for a call anytime soon?
• How have you been sleeping? Just wanted to check up on you! 

These can be some really specific yet gentle questions that you can ask a close friend or a family member who hasn’t been quite active on social media or whatsapp groups, for whatever reason or simply because it’s just been a while you’ve heard from them. Hope you find these helpful! 🙂